Clow Stories (Chapters 1- 5 only)
by butterflydreaming
Summary: Yue loved Clow for a long time before Clow saw what was before him. But Yue was innocent in ways that Clow was not. To balance an imbalanced relationship, Maker and Creation would both have to learn lessons of love. [An excerpt from my "Clow Stories", rating only for implication, although the full story is for mature readers. This is my Yue-Clow romance. ]
1. End & Begin

**Prologue: Time & Memory**

Yue lay awake, listening to the weather change. Rain drummed against the roof tiles of his house. When a gust of wind billowed through the storm, the percussion abated for a breath. When the rain fell again, the sound was like the storm's exhalation. Yue imagined that he could hear the icy drops changing their nature, become light as they turned into the confetti of snowflakes. He felt Yukito's mind stirring.

_Happy Birthday, _Yue said, when he recognized that his other self had woken up.

_Is it past midnight? Merry Christmas!_ Yukito answered with sleepy delight.

_Yes. Christmas morning, but still early. Go back to sleep. _Yukito's presence slipped into the background again.

Like a gift to himself, Yue unwrapped his memories and took them out of their boxes each at a time. Each of them was like a story. Yue, and Clow Reed. He listened to the changing storm and remembered.

Ch 1: End & Begin

_If I pour your cup, that is friendship. If I add your milk, that is manners. If I stop there, claiming ignorance of taste, that is tea. But if I measure the sugar... _"Cold Tea Blues" by Cowboy Junkies

(America; San Francisco; the late 19th century)

Yue and Cerberus had the house packed when Clow returned home. Yue had already paid and dismissed the servants and arranged for the sale of the remaining furnishings. He was still wearing the glamour that gave him short hair and tinted his eyes hazel when Clow walked through the door. The sorcerer paused to admire his handiwork. Yue could cast this spell himself. Unlike Cerberus, who had to hide in a smaller, "false" form, Yue could take the appearance of an ordinary man - a man extremely pleasant to look upon, certainly, but still seemingly human. He was wonderfully self-sufficient and yet completely loyal to his Master.

Yue's attention to him was immediate when he walked through the door. He stepped up to his Master and took Clow's coat. "Clow -" he started, a frown creasing his brow.

"What happened to you?" asked Cerberus bluntly, padding out from the parlor room. "Your face is all scratched."

"Thorns," Clow said by way of explanation. Rose's anger still mystified him. She was passionate; it was one of the things he had liked about her, but he never expected her fury over parting ways. He hadn't seen the point in telling her sooner. It would just have made their last days together strange and sad.

He hated making women cry, which was the reason that he had waited until today to say goodbye. But she had cried anyway.

"Maybe you should stay out of the bramble," advised Cerberus with false nonchalance.

Yue turned away to hang the coat in a closet, and the magician walked with Cerberus into the sitting room. All the furnishings were now covered with dust-covers; Clow sank into an armchair without removing the cloth. "It seems that you have everything in order," he said contentedly to Yue when Yue joined them.

"Everything that we are taking has been sent to the ship. We can follow this evening," Yue informed him. Yue went to the sideboard to pour a tumbler of scotch for the sorcerer.

"No thank you, Yue," Clow said, stopping him. "Just some black tea."

"The kettle is already heating," Yue said. He walked over to stand in front of his Master, then leaned in to inspect the facial cuts. Yue put a fingertip against a scratch and gently traced it, healing it as his finger passed. "I hope she was worth it," he murmured quietly when he finally lifted his touch completely, and then he walked out of the room.

Clow looked over to Cerberus questioningly. "He takes care of all the finances," the lion stated. "Of course he suspects."

"I wasn't hiding it," Clow said defensively.

"Yes you were. Just this time, you didn't do as good a job," argued Cerberus.

"Should I say something?"

"It wouldn't do any good," answered Cerberus. "If he's mad, he'll get over it. If you want to buy someone a house, that's your choice. As far as I can tell, we can spare it."

"I couldn't leave her without anything."

"Don't tell me about it." Cerberus made himself comfortable, draped across the covered couch. "So what do we do until it's time to leave?"

"Whatever you like. This may be our last time in America, possibly our last time in the Western Hemisphere. Once we arrive in Japan, I think I'm done with travel." He put his feet - still in their boots - up onto the low table. "I want to settle in with my garden and my books and go nowhere, and do absolutely nothing."

Cerberus laughed. "You're getting old, Clow."

"The centuries do wear," laughed the magician in reply. "It's a beautiful estate from its description. Acres of open land and low hills. Natural springs, plenty of trees. A forest of bamboo. We'll be nearly alone, just the three of us, but only a half-day's ride from the city of Tokyo." He stretched and exhaled contentedly. "I'm not looking forward to the sea voyage, though," he added.

"We could have traveled another way," said Cerberus.

"No," said Clow, "waste of magic." He knew a witch who could make such a journey with little effort, but for Clow, the dimensional tunnel that accessed other worlds was too dangerous for something as commonplace as a change of address. "And I only plan to do this once, so how could I miss the opportunity?"

"Well, I won't be sorry to miss it. Just make sure to wake me up when we get to Yokohama."

"The Atlantic crossing was rough," Clow reminisced unhappily. "All that rolling water… ."

"And don't forget to give me the language at some point. And find someone who knows some really good slang. I'm getting tired of Yue's little comments and not knowing what he's saying."

Yue re-entered the room at Cerberus' words; he carried a covered teapot, creamer and sugar bowl, and three cups on a maplewood tray. With his glamour dispersed his long hair now spilled between his full wings. It was a peculiar combination with his morning coat, vest, polished boots, and trousers. "You could have studied with me, Cerberus. I did offer," he said mildly. He set the tray down on the table near Clow's boots without comment, but the sorcerer could see Yue's restraint.

Cerberus grunted. "You may like the torture of learning languages the hard way," he countered, "but you are definitely in the minority on that." He exchanged a knowing look with his maker.

Yue hitched the legs of his trousers as he sat down next to Clow. "Patience is a virtue," he quoted with a smirk and started to serve the tea. "All things come to those who wait." Cerberus scoffed, but his sibling was unbothered by it. He simply set a full cup of tea in front of Cerberus, tea already heavily sweetened with sugar and quantities of cream. It was a ratio of less than half Assam black tea, actually. He handed a cup to Clow as well.

Clow tipped the cup back to drink, but made a face and set it back down on the saucer. "You never add my sugar, Yue," he said with a note of exasperation. He sat up straighter, removing his booted feet from the table. "Cream, always. Sugar, never." Cerberus laughed as he lapped his own. "You can't claim ignorance; you've watched me drink tea your whole life."

"You might change your tastes," Yue said elusively.

Reed shook his head, giving up, and measured sugar into his teacup. "Three spoonfuls," he said instructively.

"I know," Yue said. "Do you know how I take mine?"

Cerberus snickered. "_Touché_," he mumbled.

Clow smile wryly, not wanting to admit his lack of an answer. "But you always take care of everything," the magician attempted appeasement. "I'd be lost without you."

Yue made no reply to that. He alternated between drinking his tea and staring into the cup.

Cerberus came to Clow's rescue. "Yue, we were trying to decide what to do with the rest of today."

Yue mulled over possibilities. "Is there anyone we should bid goodbye to? Mr. Sutro has been very generous to me with his book collection, but I have already sent him the notice of our departure with my thanks."

"I think we've all tied up our loose ends," said Cerberus with heavy implication toward Clow. The winged lion was glad to be leaving another of his Master's love affairs behind them. Clow would try their patience for the next few days, but he would be back to being fun again in a week or so.

"I think that I would like to walk the park for one last time," Yue said softly, considering, "and perhaps visit Chinatown… and we never have explored the Latin Quarter…".

"Not the Latin Quarter," said Clow, too quickly. The Spanish neighborhood was where he had spent his morning. Yue measured him with a slow glance, but Clow just smiled again without answering.

"The park will be fun," interjected Cerberus. "I won't have to spend all my time in a satchel." He licked the last syrupy dregs from his teacup with a wide tongue. Without needing to be asked, Yue refilled it: sugar, then cream, then tea.

"Can you stand one last excursion in that familiar piece of luggage?" Clow asked his feline creation with amusement. "If you can, I propose that we all go out for dinner this evening, after I investigate our accommodations on the _China._ I know how well you sleep after a good meal, Cerberus."

"Will we visit Madam Chen?" asked Yue. "Dinner at the Empress Pavilion?"

Clow's manner was contemplative. "Today is possibly the last time we will be in America. I think that I would like to eat an American-style dinner."

Cerberus and Yue exchanged looks. It was just like their Master to choose something that they had never done while in San Francisco. "Do you have a place in mind?" asked Yue with interest.

"Carter's appeals to me," the magician said lightly. He was referring to a new and very upscale restaurant in the downtown corridor.

In Philadelphia and in Chicago, they had dined in similar places. That style of restaurant conveniently featured curtain-covered, private booths, so Cerberus could enjoy the meal openly. In San Francisco, however, the trio had restricted themselves to places frequented by the magic community, such as their favorite haunt in Chinatown. Madam Chen as she was called was from a family of sorcerers, although her abilities were limited to the overseeing of her cooks. Though Cerberus was still a marvel to her, she and her customers were no strangers to magic.

Carter's promised to be an adventure; they agreed on the location for their parting meal.

Everything was in order on the sea vessel. Clow checked the storage of their possessions in the ship's hold and surveyed his accommodations for the journey, while Yue waited on the dock with Cerberus hidden in his false form. The magician did not take long to return to his companions. They then took a hack to the edge of Golden Gate Park and wandered on foot through its acreage until twilight began to descend. They made their way to the western end, where the park opened out to the shore, and watched the sun set while sitting on the cold beach sand.

Because of the new country club conveniently nearby, it was easy to flag down a carriage that would take them back to Mission Street, even at the late time of day. It had been pleasant to sit in the darkness of the shore, with Glow making a reserved light for them, and listen to the ocean's waves. The Pacific was vast and black after sunset, seeming more immense and thrilling than by daylight.

The city's streets were nearly empty; at this time of night, most of the citizens were secured in their homes. A small crowd loitered outside a theatre, having an intermission from the play being performed within. The hotel to which Carter's belonged had an idle doorman waiting for the arrival or return of late guests. He appeared thankful to have something to do when Clow, Cerberus' transport bag in hand, and Yue stepped out of the carriage. As always when outside of the privacy of their house, Yue was ensorcelled in glamour. The sentry held the heavy glass door for the two gentlemen and welcomed them into the hotel's foyer.

From the foyer, the restaurant was a half-story lower. The companions paused at the top of the broad, semi-circular stairs that joined the levels and looked down into the luxurious room. Round tables dotted the main dining floor, each of them covered in starched white linens. The walls were painted in a royal blue. Gilded, carved screens separated the dining area from the entry. Clow touched Yue on the elbow and directed him to follow to the host at his podium.

The _maître d'hôtel _did not look up when they approached, though Clow had seen the man's quick assessment of them when they had first passed the doorway. Clow watched him quietly for several minute while the man fussed with menus and otherwise kept himself too occupied to acknowledge them. At last the man looked up and regarded Clow and Yue with a false smile. He raised his eye brows, as if to say, "Yes?".

Clow smiled in return, an easy smile. There was no need for him to speak first. He watched as the eyes of the _maître d' _flickered over his face. The sorcerer could not see Yue, who was standing a step behind him and to the side, but he could feel his companion's tension.

"I'm afraid that all our tables are taken," said the _maître d' _eventually. His manner was falsely obsequious, and his voice dripped with an ironic tint. Allowing another moment to pass, he added, "…gentlemen."

It was Clow's turn to lift an eyebrow. He looked pointedly beyond the restaurant employee at the open dining area; because of the late hour, few tables had occupants. The _maître d', _well aware of the expressive look, remained unaffected. Clow refused to take offense. "Very well, then," said Clow mildly. "We will go elsewhere." He paused for only a moment longer, and then began to walk toward the exit.

Yue stopped his Master as he passed, with a touch on Clow's arm. Clow was about to coax Yue away, to quietly tell him to ignore the slight, but Yue's eyes were both questioning and angry. Clow said nothing to his companion. Dropping his hand away from his Master's arm, Yue walked away from Clow and toward the podium.

The _maître d' _had returned to his tactic of ignoring them, but Yue cut through it with a voice like sharp steel. "Is there a problem?" he asked, very quietly.

With a superior lift of his nose, the _maître d' _answered, "I believe that I told you that we are out of tables."

Yue took a closer step, moving unsociably close to the man, although Yue's stance was relaxed and calm. "I believe that you will wish to re-assess that," Yue suggested. Although his tone was reasoning, the warning could not be missed.

The restaurant employee stepped away from his podium, and in a supercilious voice announced, "I am so sorry. But our kitchen has closed for the evening."

Yue's eyes narrowed and glinted with a blue like arctic ice. Yue felt a certain satisfaction when the man tried to cow him by meeting his eyes and then instead took a step back at what he saw there. When the _maître d' _spoke again, his voice contained a slight tremble.

"How… ever…" the man started, " I… believe that we can fit you in," he amended. The shaken man selected two menus, and began to lead Yue and Clow into the nearly empty dining room.

He started to direct them to an out-of-the-way table, but Yue stopped him. "A private booth, please," Yue indicated with sharp politeness. The host was quick to respond, leading the pair on to one of the curtained alcoves along the wall. He sat them at the table within, and handed a menu to each of them with care. Yue glanced over the page quickly. "Three of the main course, and one of everything else," he ordered curtly, daring the man to question him, "except for the aspic. We don't care for meat jellies. A bottle of—" he glance at Clow, "-Claret, and we will want to see the desserts afterward." Yue tossed his head slightly as he handed the menu back. "And privacy," he added.

The _maître d' _bowed and backed out, closing the curtains as he left. They could hear him berating the waiter who had followed too slowly. Yue leaned back in his chair and crossed his legs in front of him. He crossed his arms as well as he turned his attention to Clow.

"You should never allow that behavior, Master," Yue admonished quietly. From his expression, it was clear to the sorcerer that his companion was furious, though Yue could contain his emotions like a Wu Xing master could seal demons.

Clow shook his head. "Yue," he said with a smile, "it wasn't important."

Yue's expression softened to one of concern. "He was presuming to judge us," he said.

"No, he was being a bigot," said Clow. "Chinese are not universally well regarded in this territory," he explained. It was additionally possible, Clow suspected, that the man had judged them as having an illicit companionship. Love between men was as illegal here as it was back in England. It was some comfort to Clow to know that censure would one day change to celebration.

"I know," said Yue. His blue eyes held an expression of pain.

With a sigh, Clow unclasped the satchel in which Cerberus was hiding. "Do not be concerned for my pride, Yue," Clow said.

Yue's answer was argumentative. "And what of ours?" Yue asked.

Cerberus fluttered up from the bag and stepped onto the table. "What?" he asked, while he curiously inspected the small room. He twiddled with the key on the gaslight, adjusting the light levels up and down.

"His assessment was only of me," said Clow seriously. "I'm sure he didn't know _what_ to make of you."

"You know that's not what I mean," Yue countered. "Cerberus, you might want to hide again. I hear a cart approaching."

There was a slight clearing of throat from the other side of the curtain, and then a waiter entered, pushing a wheeled cart. "First course, sirs," he said respectfully. He transferred the covered dishes and took the silver domes away with him when he exited. Once he was gone, Cerberus flew back out from beneath the table cloth to inspect the selection.

"He means that we won't put up with anyone acting above you, Clow," said Cerberus distractedly, lifting the heavily loaded shell of an oyster Rockefeller. "I think you handled it right, Yue," he added with a full mouth. "I would've waited until he left for home at closing time and then disemboweled him in the alley."

"And done so without my leave," said Clow with shadow of reprimand. He hoped that, in this case, Cerberus was exaggerating again. Not since his dueling days had Clow needed to keep his companion's impulses in check. They had both mellowed with time.

Yue selected a long, thin crab leg and carefully removed its shell. He placed the pieces of cleaned meat on a small plate and set the plate in front of his sibling. They exchanged a sly look of camaraderie. Clow missed the exchange; his thoughts swirled. The sorcerer was touched by their chivalry toward him, but concerned at its ferocity. Absentmindedly, the magician dipped a shelled prawn in butter and ate it without tasting it.

Cerberus was enjoying the starters enough for all of the companions. Yue had yet to eat anything himself, but unlike his sibling, who ate for his own pleasure, Yue partook of food only for Clow's pleasure. If the magician had been paying attention, he would have understood that Yue's anger was at least in a small part directed toward his maker. Clow caressed Cerberus behind the ears while the sorcerer's small companion ate. Yue also directed his attentions to the little creature, and Cerberus swished his tail with pleasure.

A while later, the waiter returned with more dishes on a large tray. A second waiter followed with the wine, opened it, and poured three glasses without question. The copious empty plates were removed without comment, but Clow was sure that there would be talk once those waiters reached the safety of the kitchen. He glanced at Yue and caught his eye with a twinkle; Yue smiled slowly in reply.


	2. Rolling Water

Rolling Water

(Aboard the _China,_ somewhere on the Pacific Ocean between San Francisco, in the United States, and Yokohama, Japan)

Though he had one of the nicer cabins on the ship, without the lamps lighted the space within was nearly as dark as a closet. Clow removed his spectacles and blinked while his eyes tried to adjust to the darkness. The only light in the room came from the light of the moon, reflected on the black water and shining through the porthole glass. Once he could discern shapes, he pulled the door shut behind him; the heavy, salt-weathered wood thudded softly as door met doorjamb. He slid the brass bolt into the lock and crossed to sit on the small, firm bed.

From the pocket of his heavy wool coat he removed a book, one bound in dark red leather and embellished with gold fittings and red spinel cabochons. The small book was warm from being kept close to his chest; he had kept it close to his heart, because this book was his most dear possession. It held his companions, ensorcelled for now to sleep through this long and public crossing of the Pacific. He placed the book in the bedside cabinet that, like the bed, was bolted to the floor. They were of the same dark walnut color, adorned with brass, as the rest of the cabin's walls and furniture. Furniture was sparse in the small space; besides the bed and cabinet, there was only an armoire and round parlor table with a pair of chairs.

The sorcerer illuminated the darkness of the room without magic. He used a lucifer to bring flames to the lantern wicks rather than invoking Firey because crossing over so much moving water weakened him. Despite the few precautions that he could take, his magic was uncertain, and the little fire sprite could easily get out of his control. For the same reason, he would not use Wave to calm the waters into a gentler current, not even for an hour's peace.

The passing days on the ship were taking their toll on Clow. He had had to forgo dinner once again, and instead spent the dining hour resting against the railing of an out-of-the-way spot on deck and breathing in the heavily oxygenated salt air. The dragons beneath the waters of the Pacific wove far beneath the magician's floating transport; the energies that they moved swirled unpredictably. It was no better in his cabin, but the hour was now late, and he needed to at least attempt sleep. He poured a jigger of brandy from a flask and tossed it back, hoping that the liquor would placate his uneasy stomach.

When sleep continued to evade him, he dressed again, though in the more comfortable wrap of a heavy silk kimono. He removed the Clow book from the cabinet and rested it on the room's table. After only a moment's consideration, he turned it face down. Then, with a quick invocation, he un-sealed Yue.

The symbol of the winged crescent moon glowed and changed, defining itself into the form of a man. Yue's wings covered him at first, but as they pulled away and he became aware, he used his own magic to wrap himself in moonlight and spin it into a draping kimono that matched Clow's garment except for color.

"I'm going to guess that we have not arrived in Yokohama," Yue said, adding together the environs and the ship's rocking. "How far out are we?"

"Not even half-way," Clow admitted, reducing his staff again and tucking it away. He sat down onto the rumpled bed. "I am finding it impossible to sleep. I was hoping that you could keep me company."

Yue sat beside his Master. The moonlight white of Yue's kimono contrasted prettily against Clow's black silk. The contrast of the magician's wan face, however, worried Yue. "You look tired," he said, "and pale."

Clow reclined back onto the covers and placed his feet placed up by the headboard so that he lay reversed on the bed. When his head touched the mattress, he closed his eyes and exhaled with forced steadiness. "Everyone assumes that I am seasick," he said with his eyes still closed.

Yue gazed at his Master. While Clow's eyes remained closed, he savored the opportunity to caress the sickly face with his look. "I am sure that you are not the only one," Yue replied.

"No, there is no dearth of fainting women on this vessel," said Clow with an embarrassed laugh. "But by the time we reach port, most of them will have become desensitized to the ship's rocking. I will be the only one still green around the gills." He sighed. "This is so much worse than coming over from England. The water itself is smoother, but the currents are much deeper and more layered. I feel constantly out of balance."

"I know," said Yue gently. "I can feel the waning and waxing of your magic."

Clow opened his eyes and looked at his companion with pained realization. "Of course," he said. "You must feel as sick as I do."

"Only a reflection of it," Yue replied. "Not as much." He removed his gaze from his Master and looked around the cabin. His eyes fell on the Clow book. Thinking of how the sorcerer had chosen to wake the moon rather than the lion, he smiled softly to himself.

"This is why Cerberus is constantly telling me how selfish I am," said the sorcerer apologetically. He stared upward at the plain ceiling. "I'm sorry for complaining. Should I seal you again? You don't have to go through this with me."

The magician focused on Yue, and Clow's kind attention brought out a wave of shyness in the winged man. Yue became suddenly uncomfortable with their close proximity, but it would have been strange for him to leave the bed for one of the small chairs. Instead, he stretched out supine himself, his direction opposite Clow's. He lay his head down beside his Master's ankles. Yue left his legs dangling over the side of the bed, and the drape of his long kimono covered his bare feet. It was a position of false ease, because Yue's heart was beating ferociously in his chest.

"We haven't spent time in just each other's company for a very long while," said Yue softly. "I like your company, like this." He wondered if Clow could hear the longing in his voice, and if he would know what it meant.

"No, you're right," said Clow. "We haven't been alone together since… longer than I can remember. Has it bothered you?"

Yue carefully considered his words. "It's different when it's the three of us. I feel that you are different with me when Cerberus is with us." Yue breathed slowly before he continued bravely on. "I feel as though you have stopped noticing me," he said, keeping the accusation out of his tone.

Clow hesitated. "Do you think that I take you for granted?" he asked uncertainly.

"Some," admitted Yue.

The sorcerer sat up so that he could look at his creation. "I _have_ gotten used to the way you take care of everything," Clow confessed. "You are so capable, and independent… I don't mean to take you for granted."

It was Yue's turn to study the ceiling. He contemplated the composition of shadows thrown from the lamp on the table. "I'm not independent," he murmured.

"Yue," said Clow, "look at me." Reluctantly, Yue obeyed. Without his spectacles, Clow's eyes showed their rich depth with uncomfortable intimacy. Clow continued speaking in sincere tones. "I do appreciate you. Believe that."

They were just words, but they filled Yue with a liquid warmth. "I do," he answered. The sorcerer reached forward to touch Yue's face, to brush a short lock of Yue's hair with an affectionate caress. Yue wanted to close his eyes and purr at the touch.

"How do I make up for my selfishness?" Clow asked seriously.

Yue wanted to tell him to keep touching his hair. He wanted to tell Clow to extend that touch to other places. For a moment, Yue thought that the sorcerer looked as though he might bring himself down to Yue; the possibility made Yue's heart race so emphatically that he was sure that his maker could hear it resounding in the cabin's space.

"I'm in terror of what your silence means," joked Clow. "Are you plotting something involving manual labor?"

Yue sat up to escape his impossible thoughts. "Of course not," he joked back shakily. "I know how lazy you are."

"Which is exactly why I leave you in charge of everything," answered Clow. "When it was just Cerberus and I, we had a disaster, not a household."

"I'm envious, sometimes," said Yue. He relaxed, knowing that Clow could not see his face now that Clow was sitting behind him. Yue was certain that his longing would show.

"Envious?" Clow questioned.

Yue felt Clow pull at a hair-tie and the shift in the weight of his hair as it was loosened. He sat rigidly, wondering what Clow was doing. "Of the time you had together before me," he clarified. He felt another tie being removed.

Clow ran his hands over the expanse of Yue's hair, making sure that it could move freely. "With all my faults, you know a better me. I was too hot-headed. My efforts in creating the Cards took me down a few notches. Cerberus truly humbled me." The magician freed Yue's hair completely of all bindings. "The more perfect my creations became, the more modest I became. I know how little I deserve any of you."

Clow's dexterous fingers were now weaving through Yue's hair in an industrious manner. "Clow?" asked Yue with trepidation. "What are you doing?"

"I have had neither study nor workroom for days," stated the magician. "I need to do something with my hands."

"Are you braiding my hair?" Yue gasped. Clow made a non-committal sound. "Clow, it crimps when its braided!" Yue tried to turn his head.

"Just hold still," Clow murmured soothingly. "I'll take them back out. And wash your hair until it's satin again," he promised.

Yue was torn between indignity and appreciation of the wonderful sensations tickling across his scalp. He chose to stay still and not think about how he would look with a head full of braids. Clow worked deliberately, deftly separating and weaving the locks. He ran his fingers through to the ends as the braid was built so that the ends would not tangle; in long hair like Yue's, the ends tended to form an echoing braid at the bottom of the strands being woven. The motions were hypnotically repetitive. Yue could hear the soft rasp of his moving hair and the quiet breathing of the weaver.

After an immeasurable passing of time, the magician startled Yue by speaking. "You are a pleasant distraction," mused Clow. "I haven't been bothered by my power fluctuations since I started this. I almost feel unaffected."

"I, in contrast, feel considerably affected," Yue breathed.

"By the rolling water?" asked Clow with concern.

"By your fingers in my hair," Yue admitted.

Clow chuckled, and lifted a handful of thick silver braids. He let a bundle of them run over his hands; his motion revealed Yue's bare neck. "They look lovely," he teased. "Maybe I should leave them in after all."

Yue was unconcerned by the threat because Clow had given his promise. "If you do," he said, "I will have to cut them out."

"You would never cut it," Clow countered. "That is an idle threat."

Yue thought about a reply. He opened his mouth and was about to speak when he felt a cool breath breeze against his exposed neck. Clow was intentionally tickling Yue by blowing in little tingling puffs. Yue tensed. He didn't know how to react. He didn't know if this was merely teasing, or prelude to something more hoped for. He closed his eyes and waited, wondering if he would soon feel Clow's lips follow the tickling breath and if the touch of those lips would be warm or cool on his skin.

"Yue?" said Clow.

Yue's response was a quiet "_hm_".

"I give you permission to breath, now," said an amused Clow. Using the original ribbons of cloth, he began to bundle the braids so that they re-formed the long, contained cord. While Yue exhaled, the magician laughed softly. He had expected his creation to jump, not to freeze so completely. "The braids really do look lovely," he mused.

"If they please you," said Yue with carefully chosen words, "then you may leave them in."

"Just for now," said Clow. "I couldn't wash your hair yet anyway. But I can have a basin sent in tomorrow." He again ran his hands over the silky ropes, and smiled when Yue shivered.

"What awaits us, Clow?" asked Yue quietly.

"In Japan?" asked the sorcerer. "Since my foresight is strangely quiet about the near future, I hope that means idleness and ease." Yue seemed to be waiting for something more. "For once, the future is pleasantly unknown," Clow added.

Yue turned around to face his Master. "Do you think that you can sleep, now?" he asked.

"Yes. I think so," Clow answered. "If I can wake you again, perhaps we can make up for the time we have not spent together, alone. I would look forward to more time like this."

Yue hid his elation. "I would like that very much," he said with reserve. Sensing his time to be re-sealed, he rose from the bed. "Goodnight, then, Master."

Clow smiled warmly. "Goodnight, Yue."


	3. Idleness & Ease

Idleness & Ease

(Japan. Circa 1900)

Late afternoon sunlight, filtered through dusty windows, greeted Cerberus' eyes as they came open. He shivered the muscles under his skin to shake off the remnants of the spell that woke him and unsealed him from his sleep, stretched and looked around. Clow was waiting expectantly for his reaction. "Where's Yue?" asked the lion.

"Still sealed," answered Clow. "I wanted you to wake up first."

"Heh heh – that means I get first pick of the bedrooms, doesn't it?" Cerberus chuckled. He didn't wait for his maker's answer, but looked around, and spotting the stairs, dashed up them. After a running start, he spread his wings and flew the rest of the way.

The magician sighed with contentment. He was tired and dusty. It had been a long day's travel from Tokyo to the estate, and he had gotten a late start in the morning already worn from the distance of Yokohama to Tokyo. That part of the journey was, by necessity, via the limited conventional means of man and horse. Any use of magic would have been noticed. Still, he felt better, just from being on solid land again. He felt rejuvenated. This was a country rich with magic, and as England of old neighbored Faerie Land, other dimensional realms resonated close to the green plane of his new home. The dragon lines in the land resonated musically. It was going to be a good place to spend the last century of his life, in idleness and ease, with the two companions dearest to him.

It was time to wake Yue. Clow lifted the book from its temporary perch atop a steamer trunk and carried it up the first flight of stairs. He noticed the contrast of his dirty boots against the polished hardwood; in the future, he would go shoeless at home, as was native custom, he decided. He paused as the stairs let out to the second floor hallway, sat down on the top step, and carefully lay the Clow book next to himself. The sorcerer peeled off his heavy traveling coat, and with a small smile, he tossed his hat down to the lower level, watching it spin like a toy through the air. He shucked himself of his morning coat as well and unbuttoned his cuffs and the neck of his shirt. Finally, he set about unlacing his boots.

After kicking off his socks, he wiggled his bare feet and enjoyed the coolness of the air on his skin before retrieving the book and hopping up. He strode down the hall, eager now to wake Yue and show him the room that Clow had readied for his companion. It had been difficult, to put it mildly, to co-ordinate getting all the books in and unpacked before the three companions would arrive, but Clow had wanted the library ready before anything else.

Those hired to do the job had also taken the time to neaten the room. The floors shined, and the Persian carpet was lay over the gleaming surface. The comfortable chairs were arranged by the large windows. Though still dirty on the outside, the glass and sills were clean of dust on the room's side. All the books stood on the shelves with evidence of their packing removed.

The magician released the seal on his companion, and Yue appeared with a hushed rustling of wings. When Yue opened his eyes, he at first felt a brief pang of disappointment to see that they were no longer on the _China_. Then Yue registered the contents of the space around him. "I thought that you said that everything would be in disarray," he said at the unexpected sight. He walked over to a shelf; he ran his fingers lovingly over the spines of several books. "They are all out of order!" he exclaimed with a laugh.

The magician walked over to join him, wearing a bemused expression. "I didn't think you would mind… arranging them to your liking again," he said.

"No, I don't mind at all," breathed Yue. "I am just happy to see them out of storage." He pulled down a volume and let the pages relax open. As he fondly caressed the written words, he said, "No mold or damage at all. I know that I should trust your spells, Clow, but I have seen the damage that time can do… ." His words trailed off. He was smiling, already reading and lost in the prose.

"I'm glad, then," said Clow simply, knowing that Yue wasn't listening.

Cerberus inspected one room after another. The house was big, though not as big as the Reed manor back in England. He could see Clow's style everywhere. Instead of enclosed hallways, the upstairs had a walkway with railing on one side. It would be easy to fly from one level to the next. The second flight of stairs looked like it led up to the attic and the roof; he would explore that later.

The rooms themselves sometimes led into each other, and that was Clow's style, too. Cerberus opened doors to reveal closets or adjacent rooms; it was impossible to tell just from the door's appearance. There was at least _one_ door that connected one room to another that _wasn't_ adjacent. If Clow hadn't activated The Maze, Cerberus would eat Clow's hat. Articles of furniture – beds, tables, the occasional chair – were scattered without much thought in various places, delivered but not organized.

There were two rooms that he liked, and he debated which to claim as his bedroom. Both had tall, wide casements that opened outward and used handles that would give him no trouble opening the windows with his paws. Each room was of equal size, each of them completely empty and in different parts of the house. At last, he chose the one with the windows that faced south and east; he could wake with the sun rising and sleep on the comfortable-looking window seat in the afternoons. He padded around the room, inspecting the high ceilings.

Pleased with his choice, he went out to further investigate the second flight of stairs. Clow's cast off outerwear decorated the steps. Yue couldn't be awake yet, Cerberus thought, or else he would have already picked up after their Master. The winged lion looked around; there was no other sign of Clow, but the sorcerer could be in any one of the maze of rooms.

Cerberus bounded upward to find that the stairs led to a single, large attic room. This would be Clow's preferred workroom, Cerberus reasoned. It had a glass skylight in the ceiling that allowed in plenty of sunlight and small windows where the eaves of the roof met the walls. From the skylight, Cerberus flew out to the roof and took in the view of the surrounding landscape. The sun was just beginning its downward drop under the rim of the horizon, its flaming light painting the forests and fields between in ochre and gold. Cerberus stretched his wings to catch the escaping light and bath in the last of the day's warmth. He turned around in a circle to view the panorama of distant ocean to the east, and signs of habitation out beyond the estate's boundaries. With a whoop of joy, he launched off the roof onto a waiting thermal current, delighting in the renewed freedom of flight.

Clow's face showed an expression of contained laughter as he walked into the breakfast room. He was carrying on a conversation with Cerberus, and Cerberus was happily using his newly acquired Japanese. The way he spoke had an oddly emphatic quality to it, but Cerberus tended toward linguistic flourish even in English. Still, Yue noticed Clow's smile and suspected mischief.

At Clow's suggestion, they had gone into Tokyo again shortly after their arrival. The sorcerer had taken the opportunity then to fulfill his promise to Cerberus, and now the lion had a native's knowledge of spoken Japanese. The merchant at the meat bun stall, a rather colorful character in Yue's opinion, hadn't even noticed the brief trance that the magician had put him under; the lively little man had continued the energetic praise of his goods as smoothly as if his advertising had been uninterrupted. Clow and Cerberus were well practiced in the maneuver, having transferred language and other knowledge several times before.

Yue disliked the practice. He didn't like the way mannerisms carried over from the native speakers, and preferred to spend the extra time learning the structure and rules of a language. And he didn't quite trust his Master's choice of donors; when Cerberus 'picked up' Italian, he'd developed a tendency to gesture largely while speaking it, claiming that it 'just didn't sound right unless you used your hands'. But if Cerberus wanted to speak Japanese like a nikuman vendor, that was really his choice to make, Yue thought.

"I think that we should become accustomed to speaking the native language at home," announced Clow after the three exchanged morning greetings. He pulled out a chair for himself at the breakfast table while Cerberus jumped up onto the long bench that served as the lion's seat. "Now that Cerberus can join us."

"It will be good practice for me," Yue contemplated. "I think that I still have a tendency to clip my vowels." Already using his studiously learned Japanese, he spoke more slowly than Clow.

Not looking at Yue, Cerberus said something that was completely undecipherable to Yue. Whatever it was, it made Clow bark with laughter, and then admonish his older creation with a scolding look.

"I'll guess that that was some kind of insult," said Yue dryly. "Really, Cerberus, it lacks sting if I can't understand it." He made a mental note to himself to ask Clow, when Cerberus wasn't around, what the colloquialism _did_ mean.

"Let's keep a civil tongue around the table," said Clow with forced seriousness. "Remember that Yue made those scones you are so heartily enjoying." Clow began to serve himself. Yue joined the other two at table and served tea. Clow reflexively sipped at his cup as soon as it was set before him; just as the hot lip of the cup kissed his own lip, he remembered that he would need to add sugar. The mild taste of Darjeeling passed into his mouth, cooled with milk, and - to Clow's surprise - sweetened perfectly. He looked at Yue over the steaming cup. Yue showed a feigned interest at the view beyond the window.

Cerberus caught the pause and look. "Did Yue dip a kipper in your tea? Or was it pepper this time?" he asked with glee.

"Sugar," answered Clow, a combination of wonder and tenderness in his voice.

"Just drink it before it gets cold," said Yue lightly, looking at the table.

Clow set his emptied teacup in the range of Yue's downcast view.

Yue's choice of bedroom turned out to be the one that was Cerberus' second choice. It was on the western side of the house near Clow's bedroom, but the library, a study, and several other rooms lay between the two. After the two magical creations organized the lion's room, which took almost no time, they co-operated on setting up Yue's room. Like his sibling, Yue wanted very little furniture, but they took their time dusting and laying down the tatami matting to which Yue had taken a fancy. In Yue's room, they were safe from the Clow Cards that were whizzing around the house at their Master's bidding.

"Perhaps we should be helping Clow," suggested Yue, after a loud thumping impact echoed from down the hall.

Cerberus hopped up onto Yue's bed, where Yue was sitting with his feet up on the coverlet. "Nah. It's pretty dangerous out there. He cast The Little to pack, so The Big is doing the unpacking with The Through. I'd rather stay out of the way of The Power and The Shadow. Anyway, he'll call us if he needs us."

Yue looked across the room to where he had just hung the woodblock print that the magician had bought for him during their Tokyo excursion. It seemed to be hanging straight, but he wasn't sure about the placement. Slightly higher and more to the left would be a better composition on that wall, he decided, hovering upright and alighting across the room. "I'm not sure why he insists on so much furniture," murmured Yue. "The style of the native homes makes so much more sense in this climate."

"I like the house," defended Cerberus. His eyes roved over the minimalism in the room. "You look like you've gone native, yourself."

Yue glanced over at his sibling, and then down at himself. He was wearing a double layered kimono - another gift from Clow – instead of his usual robes. The silk was heavier and thicker than what he usually wore, but the skirted shape and loose sleeves were less binding. "This _is_ our home now, Cerberus," the winged man answered.

Cerberus stretched out until his golden body extended the entire length of the bed. "Yue, is there a Japanese version of my name?" he asked. "Yours and Clow's aren't any different, really, but mine doesn't seem to work without switching back to English."

Yue carefully thought over his sibling's question. "_Keroberos_, I think, similar to the Greek form," he answered at last. "With the harder sound, and a lilt to the syllables. The language doesn't really have stresses."

Cerberus took interest. "Wheh," he said. "I think I like it."

"What – Keroberos?"

"Yeah," said the lion brightly. He jumped up to his four feet, mussing the neatly tucked-in bedding. "_I am the mighty Keroberos_," he practiced. He leaped off the bed and dashed out into the hall, calling, "Hey, Clow! What do you think of this?"

On a day that was sunny but beautifully cool, the three companions came upon a series of pools, laid out like steps, of very clear, cold water. A moment of investigation revealed that the largest pool, deep enough to swim in, was the outlet of a spring and the source of all the smaller pools as well as the stream that ran from them.

Exploring the acreage around the manor had become a favorite afternoon pastime. On any given occasion, one of them, usually Clow, would pick a random direction, and the three would begin walking until they found something of interest. On other days, Clow had pointed out faerie gates in two places, and they had also come across the nests of yokkai. Since the yokkai had thus far not caused any trouble, they left them undisturbed. Cerberus and Yue both notice that their Master was unsurprised about the dimensional gateways, but both of them had refrained from commenting, even to each other.

The pools were shaded with trees, and the air in the clearing was crisply moist and filled with a mossy scent. "Wonderful," Yue purred, crouching down and reaching his hands into the water. "It's so clear."

The winged lion investigated with the tip of his paw. "It's so cold!" he complained. "Clow?"

The sorcerer nodded. "Mm-mm, I agree," he said. With a smile and only a small magical effort, he asked The Earthy to adjust the underground path of the spring so that it became warmed by a geothermal pocket. In minutes, the water effervesced with the new warm flow. The magician stripped off his robes and splashed into the deep pool with Cerberus following and making voluminous waves. Clow swam to the edge nearest Yue and leaned against the rocks. "Come on in," he said with a wink. "The water is fine."

Yue looked at his creator in the water, at the sparkling droplets clinging to his lashes, at the wet hair coming loose from its tie and sticking to his cheeks. Mischief was in his Master's face. Yue felt an impulse of heat starting around his collar. He stood up quickly to hide his impending blush and stepped back before Clow could pull him into the pool, clothes and all. "Just a moment, wait," he said, feeling an unfamiliar shyness. His wings vanished. Efficiently, he disrobed and then set his clothing onto some dry moss.

He walked quickly to the pool and sank into the warmed water, closer to Cerberus than to Clow. "Hey-ey, don't crowd me," the lion grumped, and paddled around to the other bank. When Clow reproachfully raised his eyebrows at Yue, Yue felt the blush again rushing over his fair complexion and down his neck. He hid his face by ducking under the water's surface.

The temperature was perfect now, just on the edge of hot, the warmth relaxing Yue's muscles. Before Clow's intervention, the pool's cold to kept life from growing in it, so the stones were smooth, not slimy, and the bottom was sand rather than dirt and water weeds. The taste was sweet with minerals. Yue wondered if all the springs in Japan tasted like this.

The clear water eased the heat of his skin. There was no reason for this sudden shyness, he told himself, no reason to blush just from making eye contact with Clow. He wanted to take a breath, but held himself under for just a little longer. Feeling his self-control regained, he stood up gracefully, letting the water stream over his face and down the cascade of his hair.

When Yue came back to the air, he saw that Clow had immersed himself completely except for his face and was floating on his back, looking up through the trees. Maple branches with new green leaves framed billowy white clouds in a turquoise sky. It was as still as a painting.

"Could a moment ever be more perfect?" asked the sorcerer rhetorically.

After half a moment of considering, Cerberus interjected, "I wish we had some hot nikuman. I like those."

"You liked bao too," said Yue. "You said that the meat buns that Madam Chen made were as good as the ones in Hong Kong."

"They're different!" insisted Cerberus. "Lots of things are different. Takoyaki! Yakisoba! Botamochi!"

"Things beside food, too," murmured Yue.

Clow looked from one companion to another. "Are you two happy?" he asked with concern. "With the move?

"Sure!" affirmed Cerberus, paddling around the perimeter of the pool. "One place is as good as another. Right, Yue?"

"Anywhere with you, Clow," Yue replied. His eyes, reflecting the glimmers of light on the water, had a soft glow to them.

Clow smiled at the comment. It was as it should be; they belonged to him, with him. It always took time to adjust to a new place. Still, they always had each other to count on, in every new place.

"Yue, let me wash your hair," Clow said suddenly, taken with a whim.

"Here?!" Cerberus exclaimed, annoyed. He started to paddle away. "Wait, at least let me get out of range before you unleash that mess!"

Yue made a sour face at his brother while obeying his Master's wish. The magician made a seat out of a boulder and Yue settled between his feet, then helped Clow undo the tight wrapping that kept his waterfall of hair under control. Released, the silvery-white strands flowed around the two of them, swirling in the currents of their movements.

Yue dipped his head back, his eyes closed, to immerse the top of his head. Clow caught him in his hands, and Clow's fingers cradled Yue's scalp, sinking deeply into the wet hair. Yue kept his eyes closed, afraid of what a look might betray to his creator; he relaxed his breathing, letting himself fall into the light trance brought on by the intimate sensations. He felt the closeness of his shoulders and arms to Clow's bare legs, under the water. His head grew heavier as the water soaked into his hair. He had to depend on Clow holding him up.

Time seemed to melt. The air was quiet except for splashing sounds, so quiet that Yue could hear leaves falling. Deprived of visual stimulus, his body focused on the slight sounds, the warm water, the rougher skin of Clow's fingertips. His hair really didn't need washing; he could keep it clean in a simpler manner. This was just something that Clow liked to do, and something that Yue liked Clow to do.

And for some reason, that annoyed Cerberus to no end.

"I'm bored," the lion shouted loud enough to echo in the glade.

"Only boring people get bored," Yue answered him. He hoped that Clow wouldn't give in this time. He opened his eyes and fixed his leonine brother with an acid look. Clow hadn't touched his hair like this since the last time that they had been alone, and Yue wanted this selfishly.

The magician removed a hand from Yue's hair just long enough to gesture at his pile of robes. "Bubble?" he called. A Card spun outward from the folds and flew directly to Cerberus. Foam covered the lion's head as he protested.

"Aw, Clow! She spent all morning cleaning the house! Hey, that tickles!"

"Now you have something to do," said the Master simply.

Yue tried not to laugh. In fact, he tried not to do anything that would distract Clow from massaging his head. He especially tried not to think about what those fingers would feel like sliding over his chest, or touching his side along the hip. . . like Clow's foot was doing _right now_. . . !

Surprised and flustered, Yue hurriedly straightened up, moving out of Clow's reach. His wet hair slapped heavily against his neck and shoulders.

"Oh, did I tickle you?" Clow asked. His tone was concerned, but his expression was sly and teasing.

Yue walked into the shallows until he was only waist deep, then started squeezing the water out of his hair. Half its length was still in the water, trailing around his legs. "No, I. . . think it's time to start drying off," he finished lamely. "I'm starting to prune," he laughed, showing his Master his hands.

Clow bit back the lewd comment that he had been about to answer with; it would have been too much for his shy creation. Instead, he silently admired the way Yue's muscles flexed. The magician knew every physical detail of him, not just from his making, but also from living with him for so long. There were some emotional aspects of Yue, however, that Clow had recently found himself wondering about.

Clow released The Windy and The Firey to dry Yue's hair, and continued to watch Yue while they ministered to him. Yue smiled at Windy and let her place an airy kiss on his face. The two had always been close, and sometimes Yue referred to her as his "little sister". Windy acted more as an older sister to Yue, however, like when she scolded Firey for getting too close to Yue's tresses.

Cerberus jumped out of the water just as Yue was again binding his hair. After shaking himself, sending water all over, he demanded his share of attention from the Card pair. "Coming out of there, yet, Clow?" he asked, casting the magician a cryptic look.

The sorcerer swam over to the pool's bank and sloshed his way out. "Keroberos," he said, using the variation of his creation's name, "I don't think you fully appreciate a good soak."

"I don't think your brain can stand to get any more water-logged," said the lion. "It's rotten enough already."


	4. Teaser

Teaser

(Japan, Clow Estate, the third month)

Keroberos popped his head into Yue's room. "Clow's back," he said.

"I know. I heard him come in," Yue said, hastily folding the last washi square into one more origami unit. "I'm almost finished," he said with an impatient sigh.

The rest of Keroberos entered the bedroom. He stepped over to Yue and stretched up on the table to watch his sibling assemble the box. The lid and the base were each made up of a dozen folded pieces, the uniform squares transformed into a series of angled shapes. Yue's deft fingers fitted the pieces together with care while wearing a small frown on his face.

"He says that he has something for you," said the lion. "You've been working on that all day, haven't you?"

"It's done," Yue mumbled, focused on the difficult connections before him. "I finished a while ago, but I wanted a good box for it." He finished the base of the box and set it aside, moving onto the lid. He concentrated on getting the small tabs into their uncooperative pockets without destroying the precisely folded units. At last he creased in the decorative pinwheel pattern in the center of the lid, and checked the fit of each half of the finished box.

Also on the table, waiting to be nested into the origami box, was the project that Yue had been working on all day. It was wrapped in a silk handkerchief, which he unfolded, holding it up so that Keroberos could see.

"Looks good," said Keroberos, eyeing the intricately knotted cord with a speculative eye. "What's it for?"

Yue caught the knot in his palm, bringing it up flat and contemplating his own work. "It's for his hair," he said self-consciously. Positioning the iridescent shell beads correctly while weaving the knot had required focused care; more than once, he had found himself at points where a small mistake would have ruined the whole creation. The dark red silk cord was heavy and slippery and didn't like to hold the smaller twists that created the over-all knot. And the knot had a secret: hidden in its weave was a single strand of Yue's own hair. The silver would have shone out like lighting in a stormy sky if Yue had made an error anywhere. As it was, his Master would never know what the knot contained unless Yue told him.

"You put a lot of effort into it," Keroberos said. "He'll like it," he added encouragingly.

Yue gave his brother a smile of gratitude. "He's downstairs?" he asked, straightening the pristine fall of his clothing. He carefully placed the day's effort in the paper box and cradled the gift in his hands.

"In the kitchen," answered the lion.

Yue dawdled a moment longer. "Do you want to come with me?" he asked Keroberos.

The lion swished his tail. "Clow said that he wanted to see you alone," said the creature without concern.

Yue turned the origami box in his hands, looking for an imperfection. "Did he say why?" he asked.

"Who knows why Clow does anything," Keroberos asked rhetorically.

Yue wavered. It was becoming more and more difficult for him to be alone with his maker, lately. Innocent, ordinary situations mutated into moments of tension, but only for him – Clow always seemed just as calm and jovial as always. It was all that time alone together on the ship, Yue conjectured. Intimate time, but without the kind of intimacy that Yue wanted.

It was heaven and hell, Yue thought, for the three of them to be so removed from the rest of the world now. He had a larger share of the sorcerer's attention, but there also was very little to distract Yue from his hopeless dreams. More than once, he was sure that his feelings were transparent to Clow. The love-knot that he'd made was chancing a confession, but Yue had been unable to resist making the gift.

Yue gave his brother an absent-minded rub on the shoulders before heading downstairs. He unfurled his wings and drifted quietly down the staircase, alighting at the base of the stairs with the intention of walking to the kitchen from that point. He was almost to the kitchen doorway when he stopped, and in a moment of panicked cowardice, stashed his gift to Clow in a cabinet that was otherwise empty. Hands clasped together, he entered the kitchen.

The magician busied himself with unpacking various boxes, casks, and jars and stowing them away in the many cabinets. When Yue walked in, he looked up and smiled, making Yue smile in answer.

"How was your excursion?" Yue asked.

Clow's eyes twinkled behind his lenses. "Very successful," he said. "Did Keroberos tell you that I brought something for you? I found something that you will like," he said enticingly.

Yue's Master wasn't going to tell him outright, but Yue had to play his part of the usual game. "What is it?" he asked.

The sorcerer's smile deepened. "I'll give you three guesses," he said.

Yue pretended to consider. "Something to read?"

"No," said Clow.

Yue studied his Master, even though Clow's twinkling eyes were disarmingly distracting. "Something to wear?" the winged man asked.

"Yue, you're not even trying," said Clow with playful disappointment. "I'll give you a big hint – it belongs in this room, most of the time."

Looking at Clow curiously, Yue asked, "It's something to eat?" Clow nodded solemnly. "What is it?" Yue asked again.

The sorcerer pulled a kitchen chair away from the table and motioned to his creation. "Sit down," he invited. With growing curiosity and a touch of suspicion, Yue obeyed. "Now close your eyes," Clow commanded coyly.

Yue inhaled evenly and brought his lids down. He peeked them open again, but Clow was looking at him with expectation, so Yue closed his eyes again, tightly. He lifted his chin slightly. He could hear Clow opening what sounded like a lacquered box and setting it down on the table. Yes, it was definitely a lacquered box; it had that peculiar light sound to it, unlike plain wood or ceramic, and the smaller inserts rattled inside of it.

"Open your mouth," said Clow. Yue could almost _hear_ him smiling.

Yue swallowed the wetness in his mouth before opening his lips. He heard the magician's sleeves rustle, and then _something_ was in his mouth. He closed his lips on it and it sat on his tongue, vaguely square but starting to almost melt. There was a resistant aspect to it. Like aspic, but worse. Experimentally, Yue pressed it against his palate. It had a striking lack of flavor, and a texture that was… unpleasant. Yue's choices were to spit it out or swallow it. Although he considered the former, he opted to quickly swallow it without further chewing. He opened his eyes narrowly, only to see his Master looking at him with repressed laughter.

"Clow," said Yue with restraint, "what did I just eat?"

"I was told that it is called _konnyaku_," said Clow.

"Why did you think I would like it?" asked Yue with disbelief. "I would rather eat caviar."

The sorcerer chuckled, unable to stop himself. "I never said that the _konnyaku_ was what I brought for you," he teased. "I just wanted to see your expression when you ate it."

Yue felt a mix of embarrassment and hurt that he knew was disproportionate to the cause. The little joke was typically Clow; in the past, he would have taken it lightly. To hide his true feelings, he glared at Clow with mock annoyance. "Childish," he stated derisively.

The magician raised an eyebrow. "Who's childish?" he questioned.

"You are," answered Yue with a touch of petulance.

Clow placed his hand on the table and leaned in closely to his creation. "You'll be nicer to me when you find out what I brought you."

Clow was too close; Yue could not meet his eyes. "Maybe I do not want it," he said woodenly.

"Come now, Yue, don't be angry," said Clow. He touched the other man lightly on the chin. "I'll be sincere this time. But you should close your eyes again. The surprise will be better."

When Clow's fingers touched his chin, Yue's stomach flipped. He was thankful for the _konnyaku_'s lack of substance. Clow was close enough that Yue could smell the herbal soap that the magician used to wash his hair. He met Clow's eyes, and to escape their mind-blanking depths, he closed his own.

"That's better," said Clow softly.

Clow's breath whispered against Yue's cheek. Startled, Yue opened his eyes again, but held still. Clow's face was a hand's span away from his own, though Clow's expression was one of total calm, as if this was well within his range of comfort. "You have to keep them closed," he said.

Yue swallowed. "I don't want to," he resisted.

"Yue…," the magician coaxed.

"No," said Yue.

Clow tipped his head. "Don't be contrary," he wheedled.

"_No_," said Yue, more insistently but with less conviction.

"I'll be serious," Clow promised. He moved in slightly closer with his words. Then he winked.

Yue pressed him palms into the sides of the chair seat and closed his eyes in a hurry. Under the onslaught of Clow's nearness, he couldn't think clearly. At least with his eyes closed, he could almost quell the surge of feeling that was threatening to overwhelm him.

"And open your mouth," insisted Clow.

Very tentatively, Yue parted his lips with a small, hitched breath. He felt Clow's body heat vanish as the magician moved away, and was briefly disappointed. The warmth returned as Clow's hand came close to Yue's face. A fingertip touched his lips and traced its way to their center.

He recognized the scent first, and his eyes flew open. Yue licked out with the tip of his tongue to taste a familiar bitterness dusted on the sorcerer's fingers. Realizing what he had just done, he pulled away quickly.

"I knew you would like it," said Clow smugly.

"Where did you find cocoa?" Yue asked with wonder. He was still embarrassed by his tasting of Clow's fingertips, and the feeling was mixed up with his elation at the long-missed taste of chocolate.

"I coaxed a few kilos out of a Dutch merchant," revealed the magician proudly. "He's agreed to become a regular supplier."

"But we'll need cream… wheat flour and eggs if you want to make a cake…" listed Yue hopelessly.

"How cruel do you think I am?" asked Clow. "That same merchant has a small herd of Guernseys. I brought everything that I need to make a cold pudding."

"Keroberos will love you for it."

"And you?" asked Clow lightly. "Will you love me for it?"

Yue couldn't keep the smile on his face. He struggled for something to say. "We can mix it with dried peppers. If we have any _achiote_ left, we could have _mole,_" he said, looking at anything but Clow. Clow's hand touched Yue's hair in a friendly caress, a few light touches not unlike the way that Yue had parted with Keroberos. Then, without saying anything else, the sorcerer left the room.

Yue sank his head into his hands, and sat that way, breathing carefully, until he heard paws heading down the hall toward the kitchen. Composing himself, he looked up just as Keroberos walked in. The lion placed his forepaws on the table to inspect the contents of the lacquered box.

"You don't want to eat that," warned Yue.

"Why? What is it?" asked his sibling.

"Just don't eat it," sighed Yue. When Keroberos started to laugh knowingly, Yue scowled at him.

"So what did he think?" queried the lion, after his hooting noises died down. When Yue looked at him without comprehension, Keroberos explained, "The ornament that you made him. What did he say?"

"I didn't give it to him," Yue answered tersely.

Keroberos sat back on his haunches. "Why not?" Yue shook his head wordlessly while looking at his hands. "But you spent all day on it," the lion insisted without comprehension.

Yue lifted his eyes to look at his brother. "He is always teasing me," he said despairingly. "I don't know what he means by it." He dropped his voice to a murmur. "I don't know if it means anything."

Keroberos grew serious. "You want it to mean something," he stated bluntly. Yue nodded. "You're treading dangerous ground, brother," said Keroberos. He began pacing in front of Yue, who finally stood up and moved to stand by the outer door. Yue looked out one of the windows as if contemplating the herb garden. Keroberos finally controlled his agitation and sat down facing his sibling. "What do you want?" he asked firmly.

Yue traced fingertips against the glass. "Don't you think he could…" he started, letting his words trail into nothing. He frowned, and tried again. "He might want something… stable." Yue had trouble finding the words to express what he wanted to say.

"You know, it's not always one-nighters with Clow," said Keroberos harshly. "He kept a mistress while we were in San Francisco."

"I _know _," hissed Yue.

"If you want something more than a tumble, you're going to get your heart broken," insisted the lion.

Yue cast him a shocked look at his blunt words. "It's… it's not like that—" the winged man protested. "I don't think that Clow –"

Keroberos continued over his sibling's protest. "It's just the way he is. He's been entertained by women _and_ men from England to North America! And Greece – I'm sure there was something going on in Greece... ," he mused.

Yue fidgeted with the sash on the curtains. "I don't want to think about it," he said. "I know what you're saying, Keroberos, but I don't want to think about it."

"But you _need _to think about it," the lion said gently. "You keep stuffing your head with romantic stories and you're going to start believing them. You're taking him too seriously. I hate to say it but..."

"Then _don't_ say it," Yue pleaded. "Please." He turned to Keroberos, crouched down and put his arms around his brother's neck. "I can't help the way I'm feeling. If I could just tell him... he doesn't have to feel the same way. I just want him to know."

"And then what?" remonstrated Keroberos. "You're setting all of us up for disaster."

"You don't know everything," Yue accused. "You're not always right."

Keroberos blew out a heavy, exasperated sigh. "You aren't even interested in listening, are you, Yue? I'm trying to look out for you. Be objective about this, you're good at that."

"There's nothing objective about being in love!" Yue shouted. He heard his own words and felt stunned. He had _said _it,_ out loud_ . There was no taking it back now. Keroberos was looking at him with a dark expression. Yue couldn't take that look anymore; he walked out of the house. Strangely, Keroberos did not follow him.

He shut the door brusquely as he walked out, but he knew that his sibling could easily have opened it and come out after him. He was thankful for the reprieve. He knew that Keroberos was right, and he didn't want to face it. If he told Clow, and it went badly, it _would_ be disastrous. He had known that truth in his heart, and it had made him shy about a gift that would have been otherwise innocent.

The air in the garden was fresh and sweetly scented, but Yue still felt its smallness and closeness to the house. He started walking away from the manor toward the outer gardens. Beyond the low brick wall, the paths opened up to trees, and he followed one of them, heedless of where it led.

It didn't take long for Yue to realize that The Loop had been cast on the gardens. He should have walked out onto open meadow, but he was still among the trees. It didn't matter; all he needed was to walk, even if he was walking on paths confused by Clow's magic. The tamed pathways were better than the wild spaces, anyway. His mind and heart were wild enough on their own and needed the imposed order.

What was he going to do, he wondered. He couldn't let things go on as they were. Whether Clow knew or not what he was doing, his teasing was torture. If Yue told him to stop, Clow would certainly ask what had changed between them. The teasing was in the magician's nature; he had always been that way.

Distancing himself physically from Clow was impossible, also. Even if Yue had wanted to leave, he depended on his Master as his source of magic. They had never tested how far apart they could be, or for what span of time, before Yue would start to fail. Yue didn't resent his dependence; it was part of who he was. He would always be linked to his maker.

He had to stop and sit because of the longing that the thought brought with it. The pain was physical. If he had ever been hungry, he supposed that it might feel like this, only high in his chest, making it hard to breath. It was an insistent need. It made him desperate, confused between the desire to flee and the wish to throw himself at his Master's feet. Yue wasn't even sure of the details of his longing. He thought of touching Clow, but if he tried to imagine anything beyond burying himself in his Master's arms, his mind refused to trespass.

He couldn't risk a situation where he might lose Clow's favor, Yue decided. If he was in love with Clow, it would have to remain undeclared. Being close to him would have to be enough. They already had a relationship of cameraderie, friendship, and trust; even if Yue's soul hungrily cried out for more, it would have to be enough as it was. Yue hardened his resolve. He had decided.

His mind folded and unfolded the same thoughts as time passed without his notice. Clow finally came looking for Yue after Yue had been out in the gardens for hours, and the sorcerer found his creation sitting on a stone bench in quiet contemplation. The expression on Yue's face was distant and uncharacteristically cold. Clow sat down beside him, waking Yue's awareness.

"You weren't lost, I hope," said Clow.

Yue shook his head, but still didn't smile. He wasn't completely paying attention. "No, no…" he spoke softly. "I was just… thinking about some things." He did look directly at the magician then, with a smile that came with effort.

Clow felt a jolt of fear. There had been times when Yue had been melancholy, but they were rare, and the cause was usually readily apparent. "Are you homesick?" the magician inquired.

Yue shook his head. "Not really. It's good to be in one place again."

The magician considered. "Is it something that you want to talk about?" he asked. Yue gave him an unreadable look before shaking his head again. At a loss of what else to do, Clow embraced Yue gently, offering a wordless comfort. Yue leaned his face onto the sorcerer's shoulder and turned away so that Clow could not see his expression. "Tell me what I can do," Clow offered softly.

Yue breathed carefully. He was tense, barely resting his hands on Clow's back. "This is enough," he lied with false calm.


	5. First Kiss

First Kiss

Yue remained in low spirits. Clow began to pay special attentions to his companion in an attempt to banish Yue's drifting aloofness. It became a ritual to greet him with a hug or a reassuring touch, and Yue seemed to welcome the attentions. The grave look on his face lightened when Clow put his arms around him. Clow found himself making efforts to make Yue's lighter moments as frequent as he could.

The sorcerer found himself looking forward to the physical contact, too. After breakfast, when Keroberos had trotted off to amuse himself, the magician waited for Yue to finish clearing the table so that he could gather him up in a parting embrace. "What are you doing today?" he asked cheerfully, willing his mood to be catching. Yue looked up at him, the shadow of sadness tinting his eyes still, but not enough to cloud the deep violet-and-silver beauty of them. He was warm in Clow's arms, as satisfying as blankets upon waking.

"I am almost done with the library… for now," answered Yue. "I grouped by type, but I haven't decided how to alphabetized the different languages." He rested the point of his chin against his Master's shoulder. "It doesn't make sense to separate them, since the language is not the primary difference."

Clow smiled as he reluctantly pulled out of the embrace. "As long as it makes sense to one of us." Then he corrected himself. "As long as it makes sense to you. I can never find anything, even in my own desk," he joked untruthfully.

Yue's hand lingered on Clow's wrist for a moment longer before Yue let it fall to his side. "Will you be busy today?"

"For the morning," the sorcerer replied. Belatedly, he added, "Would you like to keep me company while I work?"

"I can find something to keep me occupied," said Yue.

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Clow asked a calm Keroberos, "Where is Yue?" when the silver-haired man was absent at lunch.

"Outside somewhere, I think," shrugged Keroberos. "I saw him heading out earlier." He jumped down from his seat, having finished his meal. "It's not like he needs to eat, Clow," he tossed off over his shoulder.

"I know, I know…" the sorcerer murmured. "I wish I knew what was bothering him."

The golden beast avoided comment, opening his mouth instead for a wide yawn. Yue had definitely missed out, he thought, because the meal had been delicious. Keroberos had enjoyed as much as his belly could take, and now he was ready to lie down somewhere and digest it.

"I think I'll go find him," said Clow decisively.

Clow pat Keroberos distractedly as they parted ways, Keroberos to the sun parlor and Clow to the gardens. When no sign of the winged man appeared near to the house, the magician ventured out further, where the paths opened to the uncultivated spaces. He extended his search until he found Yue, at last, on the slope of a hill.

Yue lay on the ground, motionless and partially hidden at the border of an elm tree's shadow. Clow's alarmed dash toward him slowed to a less concerned trot when he realized that Yue was not injured; he was reading. Yue lay stretched out on the grass, chin on his hands, engrossed in a pocket-sized novel propped open on a square of linen. Yue either did not hear his Master or didn't want to break off from reading. He didn't acknowledge Clow's presence until Clow's shadow connected the space between them.

Looking at Clow with a smile like a cloud break, he pushed himself upright and dusted minute specks of grass off his clothes. He wrapped the book in the handkerchief and set it on his lap. "Hello," he said.

Clow felt a spark of relief at the appearance of Yue's smile. The sorcerer eased himself down on the grass beside Yue. "You're a pretty thing," he joked, playing the fool with a lecherous wiggle of eyebrows. "Can you be safe in these woods, unchaperoned?"

Yue regarded Clow with a considering look before ducking his head and playing his fingers through the grass. "I am well-protected," he said airily, playing along. "A lion fierce in claw and tooth guards my virtue."

"Nay," said Clow. "I have vanquished the Beast with an overly-heavy meal and a place by the window, warmed with the afternoon sun."

Yue laughed, but with a sound that intoned forced merriment. "Blackguard!" he accused. "You are morally insane."

"That I am," answered Clow, "but you're the one stealing my handkerchiefs." Puzzlement skittered across Yue's face until Clow reached forward and tapped the book. "I believe that is my monogram."

Yue looked sheepishly at his Master. "Sorry?" he offered.

Solemnly, Clow shook his head. He struggled to frown with false disappointment. "I'm afraid that's not good enough, Yue."

Clow saw Yue cringe at his tone, and he felt a twinge of guilt at his teasing. Yue silently bared the book of its makeshift cover, folded the square of cloth, and handed it back to his Master. Clow chuckled when Yue proffered the linen. After a moment of sly contemplation, the sorcerer pinned his creation with a weighty gaze.

"I think, for compensation," he said coyly, "that I need something more dear."

"Such… as… ?" hesitated Yue. Dread crossed his face like a dark cloud, quenching the light of his smile.

Without thinking it through, Clow looked at Yue's faltering smile and kissed him. The sorcerer leaned in with deliberate slowness, trying not to grin as he watched disbelief flutter into Yue's expression.

Clow Reed savored taking Yue's first kiss. Yue's surprise was charming, the way he held so unmoving, his beautiful violet eyes watching Clow half-lidded. Yue tasted like peppermints and some desert spice, like cardamom, a natural flavor to him, not from something he had eaten. It was incredibly erotic. Yue's lips were as soft as flower petals. Rather than drawing away, Clow leaned into the kiss more deeply. Their lips slipped past each other's until Clow felt teeth against his tongue and the heat of Yue's trembling breath, finally released.

As Yue began to return the kiss, Clow wondered at his own reaction. This small contact between them was awakening a passion of unanticipated proportions. More than the familiar effect of physical response, he felt a rarely known desire rise from the core of his being. Like a sleepy dragon, it coiled around the concept of Yue.

"That was unexpected," whispered Clow when they separated enough to speak.

Yue sounded more collected than Clow felt. "But not unwelcome," he said.

Clow reached his hand behind Yue's neck and pulled him close for another intense kiss. He pressed his chest against the other's, pushing Yue onto his back. Yue writhed sideways with a muffled squeak.

"My book!" he gasped, rescuing it from beneath the sorcerer.

Clow rolled to rest on one elbow. "I'll buy you another one," he complained.

"You can't," explained Yue patiently. "It has hand-written annotations and the author is no longer living."

"It's a book," Clow said flatly.

Yue looked insulted. "It's my book," he insisted.

The sorcerer sighed with impatience. "Don't say you didn't feel anything."

"I felt you," Yue said, with a frown that was more uneasy than angry. "Anyway, that's not the point." He gently brushed crumbles of dirt from the book's cover. "I like to keep things… nice. Some things deserve a measure of respect."

Clow didn't think Yue was still just talking about the book. "I know how to take care of things," answered the magician.

"Maybe," said Yue.

Clow elicited a speculative sigh. After a moment's thought, he picked up the folded handkerchief and handed it back to his companion. With a rueful grimace, Yue took it back. He wrapped the little book carefully again and laid it down at arm's distance on a dry spot of grass. While Yue was still turned away, Clow again slipped his arms around Yue's waist and pulled him in for another kiss.

That same feeling, like a high humming, filled him again. Yue was yielding and demanding at the same time; his innocence and passion ebbed and flowed over each other. Clow could sense Yue's soul like a single pure note of sound.

"I have fallen in love with you, Clow," confessed Yue in a single breath. He murmured into Clow's ear. "I love you."

"I love you, Yue," Clow answered him. As he said it, he knew it to be true. It surprised him.

Yue squeezed him closer, snuggling into the sorcerer, rubbing his fair cheek against the smooth cloth on Clow's shoulder. "I am glad," he murmured happily.

The magician ran a hand over the softness of Yue's hair and then let his hand continue on to caress the rising curve of one wing. Yue shivered. Clow lightened his touch; he ran just his fingertips over the feather edges, slowly, until Yue stretched out a the wing with a jolt.

"You're tickling me!" Yue complained, but be didn't push away from their tight embrace.

His protest only incited Clow to do worse. His other hand slipped inside Yue's clothes and found the bare skin curving over his lowest rib. This time Yue did jump and tried to get away. Clow held him fast around the waist. Yue only succeeded in pulling them both down to the turf. Yue lay atop his Master, caught in the sorcerer's strong hands. He fluttered his wings helplessly.

In his own way, Clow, too, was caught. He was fascinated by the way Yue's eyes shined, and how his pale cheeks now flushed a soft rose color. Clow's unplanned declaration worked on Yue like a spell, making his beauty into something new. The magician could not pull his attention away. He ran his hands up his creation's back and down again, over the lean hips and muscular thighs for as far as he could reach. Yue stopped resisting and instead brought his mouth down on Clow's.

Tasting the tentative probing of Yue's tongue, Clow thought of Yue's eagerness to learn, his quick mind and his intense attention. Yue was any teacher's ideal. He dissected and recombined the things that he newly learned with things nearly forgotten, almost matching Clow's own ability with experimentation. Yue was going to be, as Americans would say, a "firecracker". Willingness and creativity were the perfect traits for a bed partner.

With a proud smile on his lips, Yue pulled away from his kiss. His manner was enticingly sensual. But innocent as he was, he slid off of Clow and onto the ground beside him, thwarting Clow's lust. They were no longer even touching, but Clow could feel the radiance of happiness shining off of Yue.

Clow's studied Yue, but Yue looked at the unblemished dome of the sky. A deep, endless blue filled the view. Above their reclined bodies, a light, warm breeze brought a pair of tumbling butterflies near. The sunlight turned Yue's lashes transparent as he watched their aerobatics.

"Today," sighed Yue happily, "everything is perfect." He reached a hand out to finger the edges of the magician's embroidered robe. "You're perfect," he said, his voice full of adoration.

Clow laughed softly. "Hardly," he denied. "But you…" he said, shading Yue with his body and touching Yue's face with one finger. He faltered, lost for the moment in Yue's luminous eyes. It was easier to kiss than to think, so Clow stopped thinking.

Yue reached his arms around Clow's neck, at the same time pushing himself up onto his knees. Clow also crawled to his knees; he was enough taller than Yue to make their position wonderfully comfortable. They fit together well, Clow thought as Yue brought his wings out to shade them both.

Clow's need was starting to feel more insistent. He pressed himself more closely to Yue's body, but Yue was starting to tense. Yue wasn't pushing away, yet he began to hold his back rigidly, and his arms around Clow's neck loosened. Clow was reluctant to acknowledge the signals, but he knew that Yue was becoming afraid.

The sorcerer took the initiative and disentangled himself. He held Yue at a loose arm's distance, still in the circle of the soft wings. "Are you okay?" Clow asked gently. Yue nodded, his eyes closed. Clow resisted the desire to pull him close again. Regretting his next words, he murmured, "We'll stop for now. There is no need to rush."

Yue opened his eyes and met Clow's gaze, and there was an uncertain gratitude in them. They looked at each other without speaking. Finally, the magician stood up and offered his hand. Yue rose and held fast to the hand in his.

"Why don't we go for a walk?" Clow suggested.

"I think that would be nice," Yue said.

Clow stole kisses whenever he and Yue were alone, although, truthfully, sometimes it was Yue who initiated a hidden kiss. There was a thrilling appeal to their discretion. Sometimes they shared no more than a hasty brushing of lips behind a half-opened door, and sometimes their kisses were long and slow, but they were always sincere and loving.

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Author's Note: The rest of this story (it gets lemony after this point) can be found on Archive of Our Own or in ebook format. See my bio for more info.


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